Jokez?

Hey readers Thought you might like some Funnys to read today:




When I was a kid my dad told me "I'm fucking sick of getting socks for my birthday!"
"You ungrateful cunt!" I replied. "It's the thought that counts!"
I could tell from the look in his eyes he'd have kicked my head in.
If he had legs.

My girlfriend thinks I'm a stalker,
Well she's not actually my girlfriend yet.

I hate some of the excuses women come up with for not having sex. Like:
"I'm on my period".
"I've got a headache"
or
"Get your hands off my neck I don't even know you". 

I've just published a book on DIY.
It's blank and comes with a free pen.

Kate Middleton has said she is devastated she never got to meet Diana.
Not long now mate.